Day….I’m not sure. :D February 21, 2009

So, once again, I’ve been lazy with the whole weight loss thing for the last week or so.  In my defense, Brandon has been working RIDICULOUS hours lately, so me getting to the gym has been near impossible.  I have been trying to do at least 30 min on my wii fit, and since we’ve been stuck at home, I haven’t been eating crappy food, which is good.  So here’s my stats:

Day I’m Not Sure

Weight:  195

5 down, 65 to go.

So I haven’t lost anything, but I haven’t gained anything either.  yay.  

I did purchase a new game for the wii…it’s My Fitness Coach.  Seems to be a lot more of a workout than Wii Fit, and it has hundreds of exercises instead of 50 or so.  And, you can move seamlessly from one exercise to the next without having to go through menus and choose the next one, which was my biggest complaint about Wii Fit.  Or, you can have your “trainer” design a workout for you, you just choose the length of time and intensity.  I’m pretty excited about it. Amazon, hurry your butt up! 

I started a new blog, talesfromasahmm.wordpress.com .  I think I want to keep this blog focused on my battle with weight loss…so my new one will be basically everything else.  My life as a military wife, as a mother of an almost-three-year-old, as a woman trying to find her niche in life so that one day, her daughter will look up to her. 

So yeah.  Feel free to join me on my quest to a new, healthier me.  Comment away!

Joaquin Phoenix February 11, 2009

is crazy, and I’m almost as sad as when I found out Heath Ledger died.

Let me back up a bit. 

Since becoming a SAHM, I’ve had to find little portals to the outside world.  When you’re stuck in the house with a toddler all day, you need some form of adult interaction, even if it’s only reading the latest celeb gossip as fast as Eonline can post it.  So I’ve become well versed in celebrity-dom over the past year.  To my credit, I’ve also become a news junkie…when the TV’s not telling Piper to yell “Backpack!” or to find a blue pawprint it’s on whichever news station pisses me off the least on said day. 

There are both up and downsides to this newfound addiction to celeb gossip…the biggest downside being late-night television.  At first I was happy to just check EOnline on my phone 2-3 times a day.  Then, I’d start grabbing People, or US Weekly every so often.  Now, I find myself getting sucked in to these late-night talk shows and I just can’t tear myself away.  I can’t turn it off, but if I leave it on, I can’t fall asleep.  I HAVE to see what the guy that was on Married With Children is doing now.  Jennifer Aniston?  Maybe she’ll leak something about John Mayer!!  Santonio Holmes?  I wonder what he did after the SuperBowl? 

Which brings me to tonight.  I was all set to go to curl up next to Brandon and go to sleep…but then I saw it.  Joaquin Phoenix was going to be on Letterman.  I love Joaquin.  Sure, he’s been acting a little nutty lately.  Sure, he looks like the unabomber.  Sure, he has no future as a hip-hop star.  But oh my hell, he is infuckingsane.  Seriously.  Either that, or he’s on some crazy shit and someone needs to do something.  Watch : 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXpYk7WGN5Y

Now that I think about it, I’m probably only bummed about his crazyness because I scrapbooked to Walk the Line yesterday for about two hours.

Day 7 February 8, 2009

Weight: 195

5 down, 65 to go.

 

I’m excited to have lost five pounds this week.  I’ve been really lazy this weekend…with good reason, but still.  We got a new laptop, which means I will once again become addicted to the internet.  I just can’t step away. There’s so much to do!  So much to see!  So much to read!  Ahhh, internet. 

I did purchase Spore on ebay yesterday though, so at least I’ll have something to do when my eyes are bleeding from reading too many archives of dooce.com.  She’s my hero. 

I’m planning to get my ass to the gym later this afternoon…I gotta burn some calories.  I had a Quarter Pounder on Friday and a fucking chicken sandwich last night from BK.  I hate BK.  I just hate cooking even more. 

I’ve been doing pretty good as far as Weight Watchers goes; I’m not even tapping into my activity points, of which I earned 60 last week!  Wahoo! 

Piper is yelling at me; she wants to play Candyland again.  We’ve played five times since yesterday morning, and she’s won all five times, without even cheating.  Stupid Candyland.

W. T. F. February 4, 2009

What. The. Fuck. 

 

That’s what I have to say about this afternoon. 

 

My husband came home for lunch today and flopped on the couch…Piper was upstairs playing so I asked if he wanted to get freaky (I’m trying to get preggers, and hubby never wants to do it at night cause he’s “tired”).  He says no, he’s not in the mood.  Well fuck.  Guess it doesn’t matter that I am. 

Then, he asks me what’s for lunch, and when I offer the meatballs I made yesterday (for meatball sandwiches), he wrinkles his nose in disgust.  I swear I married a four year old. 

I don’t even know why it bothered me that much.  I really just wanted to find some new, easy, cheap recipes that he would like, and honestly thought he would like the meatball sandwiches.  He has the tastebuds of a child and won’t eat anything even remotely resembling vegetebles, fruit, or white sauce. 

So anyway, we proceeded to get in an all out scream-fest (instead of the all out fuck-fest I originally desired) about a fucking meatball sandwich. 

What the hell is wrong with me?  Why can’t I just accept the fact that my husband is the pickiest man alive and love him because of it?  Why can’t I just say, “You know, Soph, I know you were trying to come up with a new dinner for the family, but fuck it, Brandon doesn’t like it.  Try something else next week.”  I’d like to say it’s a big deal, and that I was completely justified in my flip-out, but I know I wasn’t.  I know I was wrong. 

I have a great husband, and I keep fucking our marriage up with my never-ceasing bitchiness.

Day 3 February 4, 2009

Day 3

Weight: 197

3 lbs down, 67 to go.

 

I went to the gym last night for two hours.  I rode a bike for half an hour and burned 200 calories, then walked on a treadmill at an incline for 1.5 hrs and burned another 500…all while watching The Biggest Loser. 

 

I fucking hate Joelle. 

 

I’ve been doing decent as far as eating goes…I’m sticking to my points allowances, but not really making good choices.  I need to get more fruits and veg in my diet…but who wants an apple when you can have a granola bar or yogurt?  Plus I really need to figure out some good breakfasts, cause lately I’m either having a couple mugs of coffee or poptarts…neither good choices.

Angry. February 3, 2009

Now that I’m embarking on this new quest towards a skinny Sophie, I’m thinking there are some other things I should tackle in my life as well.  For instance, the fact that I am angry 19 hours out of every day.  I don’t know why…I just get so irritated with EVERYTHING.  The cat, the dog hair that seems to gravitate towards all MY things, my husband, my daughter, dumbass pickup truck drivers who think they own the road just because they have 4 wheel drive…even a slow computer has been known to send me off the handle. 

 

The worst part about it is the anger alone angers me even more.  I end up going to bed at night wondering where this rage comes from, and if I will  one day lose my husband and/or daughter because of it.  I lived with an angry mother, and that is the last thing I want for my child. 

 

This is me making an honest attempt at a more patient lifestyle…a step towards angerless parenting (until she is a teenager, at least)…a journey towards becoming a better wife, and somehow more importantly, a better mother.  I need to find another outlet for my rage; yelling is not working.  So this is what I will do when the anger starts a-boiling:

Come here and vent to you.

Go to the gym and sweat it out.

Lock myself in the bathroom with a tub full of hot water and a glass of wine.

 

Pray for me.

Day 1 February 2, 2009

I am, once again, taking an honest step towards losing weight and becoming a healthier, happier version of myself.  I feel considerably more motivated than I ever have in the past, which gives me hope. 

Being overweight is just one of those things I’ve always been, like left handed, or hazel-eyed, or an introvert.  I’m finding it difficult to picture myself thin…to visualize the finish line, so to speak.  I’ve steadily been gaining weight for probably the past year and a half.  The good news is I’ve leveled out at a mere 200 lbs.  Bad news: I’m 5’3″…which puts me at a BMI of 35.  THIRTY FIVE. 

My goal weight is 130.

I’m doing Weight Watchers again…it worked the last time I did it, I just didn’t have the funds to continue.  And I’m going to force some “me time” out of my husband’s busy schedule so I can hit the gym M-F.  I also will be doing my Wii Fit every morning, and checking in here every few days for weigh ins and confessions.  I need the routine…the habits…the accountability.  Even if no one reads this, it will help for me to get it out there.

So, here we are. 

Day 1.

Weight: 200 lbs.

0 lbs down, 70 to go.